Humour, Uncategorized

Bad Neighbour

When I was leaving the house this evening I heard a terrible argument coming from the neighbours’. I listened for a bit to the screaming then, just as anyone would, in the darkness I tippy-toed across their lawn to try and hear what they were saying. Hugging their garage door I peeked my head round the wall towards the front door but the arguing had stopped. I noted chaotic tyre tracks on the lawn – someone was definitely angry. I tippy-toed a bit further along, between the cars parked on the drive and the wall, but all was quiet so I headed to my own car and drove off.

When I reached my destination I texted my girlfriend to tell her about the raging argument (I am a gossip) and she texted back, ‘Yeah, I noticed when we got home just now they were sitting in their car and thought it was weird.’ Yeah, I thought, that is pretty weird. But then, I thought, maybe they didn’t want to upset their kids by arguing so headed out to the car.

And this meant, I suddenly realised, that they if they were having the argument in their car they would have seen… their neighbour tippy-toeing in the darkness across their lawn, where they must have stopped arguing and watched gobsmacked as I slunk in front of the car they were sitting in towards their front door. It’s fine though, what will happen is we’ll all simply pretend the whole event never happened.


It is the next day. A courier tried to deliver a package but we weren’t in so they left it with the neighbours I spied on so that’s something that’ll never be picked up.